28 December 2012

Love Moon Healing

In honor of the full moon in Cancer - December Love Moon - and the powerful emotional vibrations surrounding this intense end of 2012, I wanted to share musings and inspirations from one of my favorite astrology blog sites:

The astrological sign of Cancer is a water element, a cardinal mode of energy. When Cancer is being expressed at its potential, it is powerful, dynamic and highly tenacious sign. Things will get done. And any obstacles on the path, water tends to flow over, around it and in the end move past it. This is how the sign of Cancer has the potential to handle difficulty. Though this sign is a touch sensitive and thus under a full moon, every emotion may feel even more intense. 
What could be the key themes or issues surfacing now? They will be around family, roots or belonging, rejection, abandonment, emotional security, financial or professional security as well as death, dying, letting go of the past and moving past old comfort zones. 
The exquisite potential of the Full Moon in Cancer is re-establishing emotional purity and strength. Allowing one to be confident and free to express feelings and flow with life. Learn to honor your feelings and attune to the Sacred Feminine. Be receptive to healing and also remain open to allowing things to wash away and prepare your inner container for new beginnings by being in the present moment. Let the raw emotion of rejection, abandonment and emotional betrayal heal. Allow love to caress you and nourish you on every level. 
- Depali Desai, Celestial Space Astrology Blog
Full Moon * 27 Dec 2012 * Yoga Retreat, Paradise Island, The Bahamas 

And so I am in deep reflection about what healing and transformation mean for me in the present moment and into the new year. It's been so good to be home and re-connect with my people and homespace in the Bahamas. It helps me feel rooted yet it also fills me with anxiety and hard memories. But these too keep me spirited. I am really feeling this full moon deeply and all the planetary shifts that are culminating into the new year. So many of my projects, my creations, are coming to fruition in 2013 - because of the work and intensity of this year - my water dragon year - in which I invested so much of my time and energy planting, sowing the seeds of long time visions... and they are emerging! One of those projects is all about healing and transformation - and I am thrilled that it will be published soon soon! More to come on that - (Saltwater Healing, Poinciana Paper Press, Forthcoming 2013) there will be a book launch an' ting in the new year :)  So this time for me has really been about letting go and listening to the universe and focusing on radical self care. I am as we all are - a work in progress - continuing to grow, heal, and change.

I focus during this full moon on healing - my own healing but also praying for healing for all of us and our planet - continuing to envision and believe in this time of change - the time is now for us to embrace the Sacred Feminine and love ourselves and this earth.

So in wrapping up my end of year musings on conscious vibration, I wanted share the music that has kept me going these past few months - as I've been deep in the throws of writing, teaching, deadlines, and the day to day. This past fall, I spent much of my time alone (outside of teaching and meetings and a few weekends in New York) and it was really a time of affirming my rituals of self care - especially after my dynamic and beautiful summer of travels and spending much time at home. The fall was really about me and alone time - and work - and creative recovery - nurturing my artistic self. And music was a big part of this work for me - and so I share my top three songs of 2012:

Grace Jones, This is...

Emeli Sande, Wonder

Jose James - Black Magic

And finally here are some pics of art pieces I created while listening to these songs:

Happy New Year!!! more musings soon come on conscious vibration...
peace & radiant light,

22 December 2012

Activate + Manifest = Transformation

*** 21 December 2012 ***

Happy Winter Solstice!  I'm meditating on new beginnings, awakenings, and change on this powerful day! Here's a little something I'm reflecting on as we all embark on a new year during this time of change:

"From ancient times, the Solstice was considered to be a power point or portal of Spiritual energies flowing in onto the planet. In astrology, the Solstice is a marker or turning point in the astrological calendar. This year, December 21st, 2012 we are standing on the edge of something big in Collective Consciousness. Whether you notice it or not it is happening all across the world. Life is changing and it is helpful to move along with it, which makes this Solstice point unique in nature.  Here in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the “Winter Solstice” a time of celebrating and time of introspection. 
The solstice of 2012 is bringing things to a completion in one way. Old way of life is ending and dissolving before everyone’s eyes. Walking through this symbolic doorway within Consciousness is important and beneficial. If you do so, consciously and with the appropriate alignment you can ignite the New Year 2013 with different approach."
- Dipali Desai, Celestial Space Astrology Blog

I'm at home in the Bahamas for the holidays - grateful for this time with my friends and family - feeling blessed to bring in the new year here. It has been a vibrant, dynamic, and powerful year - filled with healing, self-care, and change. We are all in the midst of shifting consciousness and transformation. I have been feeling it all year with so much gratitude to be alive and to be doing what I love to do - writing, teaching, meaningful community work, and creating art and poetry. 

I'm still flying high from a beautiful experience earlier this month. I had the great opportunity to share my work as a scholar, poet, and community worker during a keynote address at Oberlin College for the Students of Caribbean Ancestry annual 2012 banquet. I was asked to speak about Caribbean independence and what it means for queer Caribbean people inside and outside the region. The title of my talk was "Sexual Freedom and Citizenship in the Post Independence Anglophone Caribbean Or A Queer Postcolonial Subject Reflecting Transnational Space(s)" - and I shared much of my work with the Caribbean IRN and highlights of our collection Theorizing Homophobias, and I also talked about my scholarly work and research in Caribbean Sexuality Studies. I ended the presentation with a poetry reading. It was a beautiful experience - and it really made me feel affirmed and appreciated! The students there were so brilliant! And I felt so blessed and grateful being able to be my full self - writer, scholar, teacher, activist, and poet. This experience made my year! 

SOCA Banquet, Oberlin College, 8 December 2012

Activate + Manifest = Transformation

Meditating on conscious vibration - time to activate and manifest our intentions and stay rooted in radical self care - as we prepare and open ourselves for the coming changes and shifts with the end of this dynamic year.

wishing everyone peace & love for the holidays,

30 November 2012


"Disgust at the obscenity, compounded with guilt: it is within our power to bring the suffering to an end and allow the Samidin to enjoy the lives of peace and dignity that they deserve." 
“The Palestinian people want to be free of the occupation”
- Award-winning Israeli journalist Gideon Levy

I wrote a prayer for Palestine on the third day of the recent horrific and unspeakable attacks. Reflecting on the long years of occupation and war, I was compelled by spirit to speak out and use my words and knowledge to share and search for deeper understanding. 

To the people of Palestine
Unrecognized, Occupied and Terrorized

the civilians, the children, the workers, the parents, 
the journalists, the artists, the peacemakers, the healers, 
the freedom fighters,

I sit here in the privilege of never having lived in the fear of bombs and rockets
splintering humanity and community.

I sit here with a pain from my chest
to my heart and stomach
worried with helplessness
of what can I do…
except expand my own awareness
and those of my friends, family, students, online community.

I sit in the stark reality of being an activist far from these front lines 
of the heaviest, most intense battles of our time, extending beyond this time
so far back... but these histories and conflicts still rage beneath and through us.

Sure I have been on the frontlines of other battles – poverty, abuse, lack, despair, healing work in the face of grave suffering – I have worked and lived and survived front lines…  but none like this…  no war… no battles with rockets under terror colonization.

I sit with my pen wanting to craft words, carve an urgent response
calling for peace and praying for change
praying for the children and future of Palestine
praying for a sense of humanity and dignity for a people
being crushed yet and still fighting to live
in the face of our collective blindness and willful ignorance.

I remember June Jordan’s words from the film A Place of Rage –
What are we prepared to do for the people of Palestine?
How her words still resonate 20 years later...
Where is our collective rage?

Prayers and meditations today and everyday for peace and dignity for the people of Palestine. Our humanity depends on how we discuss and respond to this crisis. Some of us may feel unaffected and far away, but we do not live in a vacuum - we affect and are affected - and if one lives in the United States and pays taxes, then we are implicated. And we do have a voice - keep ourselves informed, speak from a place of love, and let us all "think peace and believe in change."

Noam Chomsky said the following about what gives him hope in Gaza after his visit: "people’s resilience. They just don’t give up. Under the worst conditions, horrendous conditions, people still, you know, fight for their rights and don’t just succumb. And, you know, it’s a lesson for people from the West. I mean, you know, we talk about repression, but, you know, undetectable by comparison with what most people in the world face. And if they can struggle on under really harsh and brutal conditions, tells us we ought to be doing a lot more."

Yesterday the United Nations voted overwhelmingly in favor of recognizing the statehood of Palestine. Perhaps this is our collective global first step in doing something.

I continue to trust in the future and that change (the great cosmic shift of our time) is surely coming... and that we can and must create change even with and through the most difficulty of situations and the hardest of addictions. But we are reflections of each other. Bound to histories that don't make sense... and to the present of tumbling into an abyss of climate change, continued wars and occupations, troubled conflicts, control over minds and bodies, mass consumption, excessive greed, extreme poverty, too much extraction, too much violence at greater and greater costs to our bodies and our planet. 

We have little to spare and too much work to do. The time is now to think beyond ourselves and rage more. Change is coming. Resist. Rethink. Rework. Remember. Rememory. Reclaim. Rebuild. Rage Power.

01 November 2012

31st October 2012 * reflections at midnight *

Peace and blessings on this last day of October, the day we call halloween or samhain... this is the night that can bring us closer to the spirit world should we so choose... this is the night that reminds us of our connections to the after life, if we want/can see them... This day has been one of my favorite holidays since I was a child growing up in the Bahamas - enjoying the very idea of being able to be anyone and dress up and play...  to escape and become something else. Since my early 20s, it has marked a beginning for me - the day I take stock of self, change, transformation, and spiritual growth.

This year is a tough one... it feels surreal to write on this day just days after the massive superstorm sandy has devastated so many places and people - starting as a strong and strange hurricane last week and moving slowly across the Caribbean - Haiti, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Jamaica, and the Bahamas. And then up the eastern coast of the United States to grow into what scientists have called the "perfect storm" of a jet stream winter low pulled into a hurricane tropical storm low pressure. We are without a doubt experiencing the drastic effects of climate change because of our relentless use/abuse of fossil fuels. These extreme weather patterns are telling us something. It is time to end the silence and take responsibility for our planet. The time is now to demand the end of silence about climate change and the unnatural disasters happening across the planet. There are too many silences and cover ups. There is too much fear. 

I sit and mediate on this eve and focus my energies on what I can do to hold our leaders, our governments, our communities, and ourselves accountable. How can we create change? How can we build better with each other and with the planet? How can we re-make our relationships with the earth? How will we start over? What will we tell our children and future generations when they ask what happened to the earth, to our communities, to us? How can we use the energies of 2012 - planetary shifts in consciousness - and the power of this day, this time of transformation, to enact, envision, and create the changes we see and imagine? What will you do tomorrow and the next day? What will I do? And what can we do together? 

with peace, love & conscious wibes 

30 September 2012

Cosmic Warrior Blessings

I've been on a serious hiatus from sharing on conscious vibration. The summer was super intense - filled with travel and journeys for work, for spirit, for family, for healing. I spent lots of time at home in Nassau (Bahamas), and it was really beautiful and necessary. I also went to Guadaloupe for the Caribbean Studies Association conference, to Washington D.C. for my annual writers and artists collective S.P.A.C.E. writing retreat, and also to Detroit for the Allied Media Conference and a work retreat for curriculum building with the Hurricane Season team. Detroit was powerful and ushered in some major changes for me - cutting my locs and letting go of so much...  still processing all of that... yet and still...  My 36th year started with me knowing that it was time to let go, and it was in Detroit that I made the decision, with the help of my chosen family sistren goddesses and especially my fellow Cosmic Warrior Naima - we cut it off! What a week!  

And then I spent the rest of summer from early July to mid August at home. I feel so grateful and blessed for the time, the journeys, the learning, the sharing, the space to write and grow... and the quality time with my loved ones. Spending time at home was really affirming, rejuvenating, and healing - I soaked in the sunshine and saltwater, exfoliated in the sand, played with my nieces, spent much needed time with my family and friends, and really relaxed. There is much more to share...  But for now, I'm sharing just a taste of my many summer blessings -- some mini-reflections and successes during my dragon '12 summer. 

So two major things I'm thrilled to share that I finished this summer: 

1) my "Saltwater Healing: Myth-Memoir" literary artwork piece is being published as a chapbook with Poinciana Press and editor Sonia Farmer (hopefully by December 2012). And I also worked on the art piece some more and moved it to The Lignum Vitae Foundation on Bay Street, Downtown Nassau - where it will be featured for a while.

2) and I finished my scholarly book Resisting Paradise: Tourism, Diaspora and Sexuality in Caribbean Literature and Culture - and successfully found an academic publisher! I will be working on revisions for the next year or so - and the book should be out in 2014. I'm thrilled to have finished and be in the process of finishing these two major projects that reflect my work as a writer-activist-poet-scholar-community worker-teacher - and more specifically the two aspects of my writing life - creative work and academic work - all coming to being and fruition in this dynamic, vibrant, yet challenging year.  

I've been back stateside since mid-August - in the throws of teaching, writing, and deadlines. I got really sick my first two weeks back, and so I had to establish new rituals of self-care and healing, as I embrace more fully the solitude where I live and work. And so it may be a while before I get back to my monthly intent of sharing on the blog. I hope to get back to this public space of sharing soon, but I'm not sure when or how it will look. I have embarked on a journey of creative recovery as a full mind-body-spirit-emotional healing. And so there is much work to do, while also staying present and focused on my day to day and the work and grind of teaching and writing. 

It's now Fall time, and in the northeast the leaves are starting to change into the most beautiful colors of red, brown, orange and everything in between. I am enjoying these moments of transition that reflect spirits of change, the urgency to prepare for what lies ahead, and being open to where the universe guides me. Celebrating the harvest full moon in Aries last night with meditation and setting intentions, I focused on manifesting productivity, abundance, healing light, and completion. This full moon brings together the energies of Aries and its opposite Libra - or the "me" and the "we" - reflecting both the Warrior and the Goddess within - seeking balance between being selfish and self-less. Thinking about my own struggle with this made my full moon meditation even more striking. I celebrate my warrior self and all she has carried me through even as I embrace and move closer to my spirit calling. 

And so wanna share one of my poems - just published in the new WomanSpeak journal - issue 6 (it's a beautiful collection - get your copy through Lulu Press). 

Angelique V. Nixon

I remember her saying that she wanted to paint
a portrait of my stretch marks

these stretch marks tell the story of long days
and longer nights

I remember the revelation of her
breath on my skin

as she mapped out her portrait
tracing each line with her tongue

we inhaled and exhaled as our bodies
came together in synergy

after, she painted each line, of my story
with reddish brown charcoal and fingers

blending and weaving, slow and high pitched moans
and the stories in between

Cover Art by Chantel E. Y. Bethel

27 June 2012

complexities of place, desire & belonging

Ewan Atkinson, Love Hate Indifference (2007)

I am thrilled to share on conscious vibration the launch of a beautiful online multi-media collection I've been working on for over a year. I would like to thank my co-editors (especially Rosamond and Vidyaratha - for the 'birth' and careful attention to detail), and to all of our contributors for trusting us with their work. 

It's been a journey to gather, collect, edit, and connect voices, art, critique, reports and varied perspectives into one collection. And it was worth every minute. I invite you to delve into this collection - read, listen, watch, enjoy, be troubled, debate, and reflect on the complexity of sexual minority lives and experiences, politics and organizing, struggles and success, pain and joy, and most of all the carving of space for desire.

From the introduction:

The collection refers to a complex range of sexual identities, preferences, and orientations, and includes a few voices engaging with trans-identity. The collection crosses disciplines, intersects communities, bridges theory and activism, and highlights the relentless and strategic work of community workers, artists, activists, and scholars across the region. This may be the strongest element of the collection—the bringing together or “gathering” of voices (continuing the work of Our Caribbean – A Gathering of Gay and Lesbian Writings in the Antilles) in multiple media to offer a complex understanding of the Caribbean sexual landscape at home and abroad.  
 - Rosamond S. King & Angelique V. Nixon 


The Caribbean Region of the International Resource Network
Proudly Introduces:

Theorizing Homophobias in the Caribbean:
Complexities of Place, Desire and Belonging

An online multi-media collection of activist reports, creative writing, critical essays, film, interviews, music, and visual and performance art reflecting the complexities of homophobias in the Caribbean, while also expanding awareness of Caribbean sexual minority experiences and activism in the region and its diaspora. 

Towards greater understanding and deeper reflections of Caribbean Sexualities, this online collection features engaging scholarly work and highlights of exciting activism across the region, alongside dynamic artistic expressions. There is a complex range of viewpoints and attitudes that must be accounted for in our defining of homophobias, and this collection aims to give a platform to some of those perspectives.

Rodell Warner, from Photobooth Project, Erotic Art Week

Featuring work by: 
  • Zahra Airall – Short Story (Antigua and Barbuda)
  • Ewan Atkinson – Visual Art (Barbados)
  • Larry Chang (JGFM & J-FLAG) – Interview with Thomas Glave (Jamaica/USA)
  • Sekou Charles & Colin Robinson – Film and Poem (Trinidad and Tobago)
  • Charmaine Crawford - Critical Essay (Barbados)
  • Fred Cronard - Interview (Martinique)
  • Maria Govan and Kareem Mortimer – Interview (The Bahamas)
  • Lawrence Graham-Brown – Performance Art (Jamaica/United States)
  • Erin Greene (Rainbow Alliance) – Activist Report & Interview (The Bahamas)
  • Joanne Hillhouse – Poetry (Antigua and Barbuda)
  • Rosamond S. King – Essay (Trinidad and Tobago/United States)
  • Las Krudas – Music Video & Lyrics (Cuba)
  • Steve Laguerre (SEROvie)– Interview (Haiti)
  • Angelique V. Nixon – Essay (The Bahamas/United States)
  • Carmen Oquendo-Villar – Film (Puerto Rico)
  • Colin Robinson (CAISO) – Activist Report & Interview (Trinidad and Tobago)
  • Lawrence Scott - “Chameleon” - Short Story (Trinidad and Tobago/United Kingdom)
  • Savannah Shange – Essay (United States)
  • Joel Simpson - Interview (Guyana)
  • Tieneke Sumter & Chrystabelle Beaton - Interview (Suriname)
  • Suriname Men United – Activist Report (Suriname)
  • Rodell Warner – Visual Art (Trinidad and Tobago)

Created by the Caribbean Region of the International Resource Network (irnweb.org). 

Edited by Rosamond S. King, Angelique V. Nixon,

Natalie Bennett, Colin Robinson, and Vidyaratha Kissoon.

Please visit the collection at www.caribbeanhomophobias.org, forward this message to others, and comment about it on our Facebook Fan Page!