Being in graduate school is challenging to say the least.... and it's all the time... but for some reason, spring semester always rushes by, screaming, and yuckin all yuh time, energy... every spring I go through what I'm now callin da spring blues... if it ain't one ting, it a next one right behind it... Never mind you dat it seem at University of Florida, we (meaning marginalized groups - especially black people) have to march and protest and fight and fight about somet'ing each semester... Never mind you dat it just feel like dis university don't want us here - us as in black, brown, queer, liberal, humanities-loving, inter-disciplinary-minded, and so on, and any mixture thereof... Never mind dat those of us organizing, going to meetings, writing letters, sending emails, and erryting else, may be gettin sick and tired... But sometimes yuh have to make sacrifices, and yes, somethings are more important than school work, more important than sleep, and even more important than the individual... sometimes we have to make those decisions - and they are hard - and it's even harder when at the end of the day - the work you haven't done is still waiting for you - and everyone is still expecting you to succeed on all fronts - and to excel - always striving for excellence, being the best, while thinking of not only yourself, but your family, your friends, your colleagues, your community, and on and on... And the minute things seem quiet, crazy shit happens on campus, on the street corner, in the food store, on the news, in a meeting, in the classroom, and we are reminded again and again that racism /sexism/homophobia (from the subtle & covert forms to in your face shit) are everywhere - and that these forms of oppression and ALL forms of oppression keep us from being human and free.
So even as I carry on in dis rant... feeling overwhelmed like Ive been swimming against the tide on a rough day for hours and hours with no land in site... even so, I know we have to keep fighting, keep the struggle going... but even then, sometimes I have a hard time keepin hope alive... and need time to re-energize and catch some conscious wibes... I gern home today... the West Indian Lit Conference, community, family/friends, an' some conch salad & sky juice should get muh right back on track :) maybe some cerasee too (yes, I do believe it & da ocean is cure erryting - dere are only a few tings I really believe in - bush medicine, ocean/moon/earth spirit, obeah, and guardian angels/spirits)...
das all fa now... tryin to get dese spring blues sung...
tryin to make revolution happen, one ting at a time...
Angelique
