Rituals
for Healing and Self Care
A Caribbean Feminist Brew
Conjured by Angelique V. Nixon
for
those of us on the frontline,
waging battles, survivors of violence,
for Caribbean women and girls,
for Caribbean people who live and love
outside gender and sexual norms,
(especially lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, intersex,
queer, and gender non-conforming folks)
These
past weeks of sharing painful stories, we have broken depths of silence,
Broken, we are not, broke open, we are, not damaged beyond repair,
We are breaking silences with fyah raised fists and voices beaming,
we listen, we hold, we rage, we bawl, we scream, we remember.
We share our own stories. Sometimes we don’t share. Sometimes we can’t. This
is time to bear witness. We share in this unearthing of our stories of sexual
abuse, harassment, assault, and violence. We wonder how to move forward. How to
escape. How to process. How to cope. How to stop this violence. How to hold
each other accountable. How to live and love. How to be whole again. How to
heal.
Krystal Nandini Ghisyawan and I have been asking these questions
over the past few years through our co-created art and reflection projects on
gender-based violence (GBV) in the Caribbean. This year, we decided to focus on
breaking silence and healing.
For
survivors of violence especially women and people who defy sexual and gender
norms, I hosted a healing workshop at Wholeness and Justice Counselling Centre
in Trinidad on 9 December. I created this workshop to facilitate healing space
for those of us most affected by gender based violence. This session focused on
women, LGBTQI folks, and gender non-conforming people because we experience the
brunt of hetero-patriarchal violence. These forms of violence affect us all but
women and sexual minorities experience gender based violence
disproportionately.
As
the #LifeinLeggings movement grows across
the Caribbean, we must create more spaces for us to find healing. We
have opened up wounds, we have shared painful memories, and we are bearing
witness to each other’s pain. How do we process these feelings and memories?
How do we support and protect each other? How do we channel our anger, pain,
rage, and sorrow into creativity, language, and action? How do we manage loved
ones reactions, feelings, and pain upon reading our stories? Can we create
change and transform our societies, communities, and families? What is
possible? Inspired by Audre Lorde's poetry and essays, my workshop seeks to
open space and use creativity for healing and transformation.
I
share here on consciousvibration the goals, rituals, and creative
exercises I developed to create space for healing and sharing. We had a
powerful and hard session on Friday – with nine of us – sharing, writing,
creating, and thinking through these questions of how we transform silence into
language and action. I will be hosting more of these workshops soon – and some
folks in the group want to meet up regularly.
The
Goals of the Workshop: For survivors of gender based violence, to release and
find healing through creativity and to transform silence into language and
action.
Defining
Self Care:
- A self-initiated, deliberate act to establish and
maintain physical, mental and emotional health.
- Creating spaces for reflection, healing, community
building, and balance.
Cleansing Healing Breathing Practice
- To release stress and emotional build up; To cleanse
the body and regenerate; To clear the mind - ground and center self.
- Focus and Pay attention to the breath as a healing
practice.
Remember that Healing is a process (day to day practice)
- Establish daily rituals of self-care: eating well,
exercise, meditation, yoga, grounding, nature connection, checking in with
loved ones.
- Relaxing and restorative things you do just for you (time for yourself everyday; writing every morning or before bed; make a healing playlist just for you; etc.)
- Build a healing altar and/or space for mediation and healing practice.
 |
| Healing Altar built for the workshop on 9 Dec 2016 |
Writing
and Art – Creativity as a Path for Healing (channel rage into
creation)
Anger expressed and translated into action in the service of
our vision and our future is a liberating and strengthening act of
clarification.
Anger
is loaded with information and energy.
–Audre
Lorde “Uses of Anger”
We have
opened up wounds, we have shared painful memories, and we are bearing witness
to each others' pain. How do we process these feelings and memories? How do we
support and protect each other? How do we channel our anger, pain, rage, and
sorrow into creativity, language, and action? How do we manage loved ones
reactions, feelings, and pain upon reading our stories? Can we create change
and transform our societies, communities, and families? What is possible?
My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not
protect you.
–Audre
Lorde “Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”
As
survivors of gender based violence – we often push down the painful memories and this can create
a separation of selves – especially if it happened to us as children or teens.
We may have split and silenced parts of our selves to survive and cope.
Sometimes these are necessary strategies but long term can be damaging. Here
are some creative exercises to communicate with your other self or selves built
for survival and coping – for healing and transformation.
Creative
Exercises as pathways to healing:
1)
Stone Reflection (Earth – grounding self)
Pick
two stones – one as a reflection of your inner self or child self and the other
as the self you project to the world or your adult self. Write about each stone
and how they reflect these parts of you. Describe the surface, the edges, the
feelings that each stone evokes in you. Let the power of the earth come through
the stones. Feel how they ground you. Share your reflection.
2)
Love letter or drawing to child-teen-younger self (Air and Water – for healing)
Use
the elements of Air and Water – as a metaphor for channeling messages to your
younger self: write a love letter or create a drawing for your younger
self.
For
Inspiration -- read my love letter:
3)
"Transforming Silence into Language and Action" (Fire – for regeneration)
And
of course I am afraid, because the transformation of silence into language and
action is an act of self-revelation, and that always seems fraught with danger.
We
can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned
to work and speak when we are tired. For we have been socialized to respect
fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in
silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of the silence will
choke us.
The
fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break the
silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not
difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to
be broken.
–
Audre Lorde, “Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”
Vision
your own transformation piece with FYAH – create, draw, paint, colour, write
poetry, or anything you want to make with your hands -- transform feelings,
anger, sadness, grief, pain, silence into something new that will incite, will
speak, will draw upon your energy and live beyond you.
 |
| Healing Art by one of the workshop participants |
Closing
– circle vibration / conscious vibration
Give
Thanks – ancestors, earth magic, walk with spirit
#Beyond16Days#LifeinLeggings
#Caribbeanfeministwork #Catchafyah
13
December 2016 | Full Moon Blessings in Gemini
