Turbulence

"Disgust at the obscenity, compounded with guilt: it is within our power to bring the suffering to an end and allow the Samidin to enjoy the lives of peace and dignity that they deserve." 

- Noam Chomsky on his visit to the Gaza Strip, October 25-30, 2012.

“The Palestinian people want to be free of the occupation”

- Award-winning Israeli journalist Gideon Levy

I wrote a prayer for Palestine on the third day of the recent horrific and unspeakable attacks. Reflecting on the long years of occupation and war, I was compelled by spirit to speak out and use my words and knowledge to share and search for deeper understanding. 

To the people of Palestine

Unrecognized, Occupied and Terrorized

the civilians, the children, the workers, the parents, 

the journalists, the artists, the peacemakers, the healers, 

the freedom fighters,

I sit here in the privilege of never having lived in the fear of bombs and rockets

splintering humanity and community.

I sit here with a pain from my chest

to my heart and stomach

worried with helplessness

of what can I do…

except expand my own awareness

and those of my friends, family, students, online community.

I sit in the stark reality of being an activist far from these front lines 

of the heaviest, most intense battles of our time, extending beyond this time

so far back... but these histories and conflicts still rage beneath and through us.

Sure I have been on the frontlines of other battles – poverty, abuse, lack, despair, healing work in the face of grave suffering – I have worked and lived and survived front lines…  but none like this…  no war… no battles with rockets under terror colonization.

I sit with my pen wanting to craft words, carve an urgent response

calling for peace and praying for change

praying for the children and future of Palestine

praying for a sense of humanity and dignity for a people

being crushed yet and still fighting to live

in the face of our collective blindness and willful ignorance.

I remember June Jordan’s words from the film A Place of Rage –

What are we prepared to do for the people of Palestine?

How her words still resonate 20 years later...

Where is our collective rage?

Prayers and meditations today and everyday for peace and dignity for the people of Palestine. Our humanity depends on how we discuss and respond to this crisis. Some of us may feel unaffected and far away, but we do not live in a vacuum - we affect and are affected - and if one lives in the United States and pays taxes, then we are implicated. And we do have a voice - keep ourselves informed, speak from a place of love, and let us all "think peace and believe in change."

Noam Chomsky said the following about what gives him hope in Gaza after his visit: "people’s resilience. They just don’t give up. Under the worst conditions, horrendous conditions, people still, you know, fight for their rights and don’t just succumb. And, you know, it’s a lesson for people from the West. I mean, you know, we talk about repression, but, you know, undetectable by comparison with what most people in the world face. And if they can struggle on under really harsh and brutal conditions, tells us we ought to be doing a lot more."

Yesterday the United Nations voted overwhelmingly in favor of recognizing the statehood of Palestine. Perhaps this is our collective global first step in doing something.

I continue to trust in the future and that change (the great cosmic shift of our time) is surely coming... and that we can and must create change even with and through the most difficulty of situations and the hardest of addictions. But we are reflections of each other. Bound to histories that don't make sense... and to the present of tumbling into an abyss of climate change, continued wars and occupations, troubled conflicts, control over minds and bodies, mass consumption, excessive greed, extreme poverty, too much extraction, too much violence at greater and greater costs to our bodies and our planet. 

We have little to spare and too much work to do. The time is now to think beyond ourselves and rage more. Change is coming. Resist. Rethink. Rework. Remember. Rememory. Reclaim. Rebuild. Rage Power.

31st October 2012 * reflections at midnight *

Peace and blessings on this last day of October, the day we call halloween or samhain... this is the night that can bring us closer to the spirit world should we so choose... this is the night that reminds us of our connections to the after life, if we want/can see them... This day has been one of my favorite holidays since I was a child growing up in the Bahamas - enjoying the very idea of being able to be anyone and dress up and play...  to escape and become something else. Since my early 20s, it has marked a beginning for me - the day I take stock of self, change, transformation, and spiritual growth.

This year is a tough one... it feels surreal to write on this day just days after the massive superstorm sandy has devastated so many places and people - starting as a strong and strange hurricane last week and moving slowly across the Caribbean - Haiti, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Jamaica, and the Bahamas. And then up the eastern coast of the United States to grow into what scientists have called the "perfect storm" of a jet stream winter low pulled into a hurricane tropical storm low pressure. We are without a doubt experiencing the drastic effects of climate change because of our relentless use/abuse of fossil fuels. These extreme weather patterns are telling us something. It is time to end the silence and take responsibility for our planet. The time is now to demand the end of silence about climate change and the unnatural disasters happening across the planet. There are too many silences and cover ups. There is too much fear. 

I sit and mediate on this eve and focus my energies on what I can do to hold our leaders, our governments, our communities, and ourselves accountable. How can we create change? How can we build better with each other and with the planet? How can we re-make our relationships with the earth? How will we start over? What will we tell our children and future generations when they ask what happened to the earth, to our communities, to us? How can we use the energies of 2012 - planetary shifts in consciousness - and the power of this day, this time of transformation, to enact, envision, and create the changes we see and imagine? What will you do tomorrow and the next day? What will I do? And what can we do together? 

with peace, love & conscious wibes 

Cosmic Warrior Blessings

I've been on a serious hiatus from sharing on conscious vibration. The summer was super intense - filled with travel and journeys for work, for spirit, for family, for healing. I spent lots of time at home in Nassau (Bahamas), and it was really beautiful and necessary. I also went to Guadaloupe for the Caribbean Studies Association conference, to Washington D.C. for my annual writers and artists collective S.P.A.C.E. writing retreat, and also to Detroit for the Allied Media Conference and a work retreat for curriculum building with the Hurricane Season team. Detroit was powerful and ushered in some major changes for me - cutting my locs and letting go of so much...  still processing all of that... yet and still...  My 36th year started with me knowing that it was time to let go, and it was in Detroit that I made the decision, with the help of my chosen family sistren goddesses and especially my fellow Cosmic Warrior Naima - we cut it off! What a week!  

And then I spent the rest of summer from early July to mid August at home. I feel so grateful and blessed for the time, the journeys, the learning, the sharing, the space to write and grow... and the quality time with my loved ones. Spending time at home was really affirming, rejuvenating, and healing - I soaked in the sunshine and saltwater, exfoliated in the sand, played with my nieces, spent much needed time with my family and friends, and really relaxed. There is much more to share...  But for now, I'm sharing just a taste of my many summer blessings -- some mini-reflections and successes during my dragon '12 summer. 

So two major things I'm thrilled to share that I finished this summer: 

1) my "Saltwater Healing: Myth-Memoir" literary artwork piece is being published as a chapbook with Poinciana Press and editor Sonia Farmer (hopefully by December 2012). And I also worked on the art piece some more and moved it to The Lignum Vitae Foundation on Bay Street, Downtown Nassau - where it will be featured for a while.

2) and I finished my scholarly book Resisting Paradise: Tourism, Diaspora and Sexuality in Caribbean Literature and Culture - and successfully found an academic publisher! I will be working on revisions for the next year or so - and the book should be out in 2014. I'm thrilled to have finished and be in the process of finishing these two major projects that reflect my work as a writer-activist-poet-scholar-community worker-teacher - and more specifically the two aspects of my writing life - creative work and academic work - all coming to being and fruition in this dynamic, vibrant, yet challenging year.  

I've been back stateside since mid-August - in the throws of teaching, writing, and deadlines. I got really sick my first two weeks back, and so I had to establish new rituals of self-care and healing, as I embrace more fully the solitude where I live and work. And so it may be a while before I get back to my monthly intent of sharing on the blog. I hope to get back to this public space of sharing soon, but I'm not sure when or how it will look. I have embarked on a journey of creative recovery as a full mind-body-spirit-emotional healing. And so there is much work to do, while also staying present and focused on my day to day and the work and grind of teaching and writing. 

It's now Fall time, and in the northeast the leaves are starting to change into the most beautiful colors of red, brown, orange and everything in between. I am enjoying these moments of transition that reflect spirits of change, the urgency to prepare for what lies ahead, and being open to where the universe guides me. Celebrating the harvest full moon in Aries last night with meditation and setting intentions, I focused on manifesting productivity, abundance, healing light, and completion. This full moon brings together the energies of Aries and its opposite Libra - or the "me" and the "we" - reflecting both the Warrior and the Goddess within - seeking balance between being selfish and self-less. Thinking about my own struggle with this made my full moon meditation even more striking. I celebrate my warrior self and all she has carried me through even as I embrace and move closer to my spirit calling. 

And so wanna share one of my poems - just published in the new WomanSpeak journal - issue 6 (it's a beautiful collection - get your copy through Lulu Press). 

Warrior

Angelique V. Nixon

I remember her saying that she wanted to paint

a portrait of my stretch marks

these stretch marks tell the story of long days

and longer nights

I remember the revelation of her

breath on my skin

as she mapped out her portrait

tracing each line with her tongue

we inhaled and exhaled as our bodies

came together in synergy

after, she painted each line, of my story

with reddish brown charcoal and fingers

blending and weaving, slow and high pitched moans

and the stories in between

Cover Art by Chantel E. Y. Bethel

complexities of place, desire & belonging

Ewan Atkinson, Love Hate Indifference (2007)

I am thrilled to share on conscious vibration the launch of a beautiful online multi-media collection I've been working on for over a year. I would like to thank my co-editors (especially Rosamond and Vidyaratha - for the 'birth' and careful attention to detail), and to all of our contributors for trusting us with their work. 

It's been a journey to gather, collect, edit, and connect voices, art, critique, reports and varied perspectives into one collection. And it was worth every minute. I invite you to delve into this collection - read, listen, watch, enjoy, be troubled, debate, and reflect on the complexity of sexual minority lives and experiences, politics and organizing, struggles and success, pain and joy, and most of all the carving of space for desire.

From the introduction:

The collection refers to a complex range of sexual identities, preferences, and orientations, and includes a few voices engaging with trans-identity. The collection crosses disciplines, intersects communities, bridges theory and activism, and highlights the relentless and strategic work of community workers, artists, activists, and scholars across the region. This may be the strongest element of the collection—the bringing together or “gathering” of voices (continuing the work of Our Caribbean – A Gathering of Gay and Lesbian Writings in the Antilles) in multiple media to offer a complex understanding of the Caribbean sexual landscape at home and abroad.  

 - Rosamond S. King & Angelique V. Nixon 

*~*~*

The Caribbean Region of the International Resource Network

Proudly Introduces:

Theorizing Homophobias in the Caribbean:

Complexities of Place, Desire and Belonging

An online multi-media collection of activist reports, creative writing, critical essays, film, interviews, music, and visual and performance art reflecting the complexities of homophobias in the Caribbean, while also expanding awareness of Caribbean sexual minority experiences and activism in the region and its diaspora. 

www.caribbeanhomophobias.org

Towards greater understanding and deeper reflections of Caribbean Sexualities, this online collection features engaging scholarly work and highlights of exciting activism across the region, alongside dynamic artistic expressions. There is a complex range of viewpoints and attitudes that must be accounted for in our defining of homophobias, and this collection aims to give a platform to some of those perspectives.

Rodell Warner, from Photobooth Project, Erotic Art Week

Featuring work by: 

• Zahra Airall – Short Story (Antigua and Barbuda)
• Ewan Atkinson – Visual Art (Barbados)
• Larry Chang (JGFM & J-FLAG) – Interview with Thomas Glave (Jamaica/USA)
• Sekou Charles & Colin Robinson – Film and Poem (Trinidad and Tobago)
• Charmaine Crawford - Critical Essay (Barbados)
• Fred Cronard - Interview (Martinique)
• Maria Govan and Kareem Mortimer – Interview (The Bahamas)
• Lawrence Graham-Brown – Performance Art (Jamaica/United States)
• Erin Greene (Rainbow Alliance) – Activist Report & Interview (The Bahamas)
• Joanne Hillhouse – Poetry (Antigua and Barbuda)
• Rosamond S. King – Essay (Trinidad and Tobago/United States)
• Las Krudas – Music Video & Lyrics (Cuba)
• Steve Laguerre (SEROvie)– Interview (Haiti)
• Angelique V. Nixon – Essay (The Bahamas/United States)
• Carmen Oquendo-Villar – Film (Puerto Rico)
• Colin Robinson (CAISO) – Activist Report & Interview (Trinidad and Tobago)
• Lawrence Scott - “Chameleon” - Short Story (Trinidad and Tobago/United Kingdom)
• Savannah Shange – Essay (United States)
• Joel Simpson - Interview (Guyana)
• Tieneke Sumter & Chrystabelle Beaton - Interview (Suriname)
• Suriname Men United – Activist Report (Suriname)
• Rodell Warner – Visual Art (Trinidad and Tobago)

Created by the Caribbean Region of the International Resource Network (irnweb.org). 

Edited by Rosamond S. King, Angelique V. Nixon,

Natalie Bennett, Colin Robinson, and Vidyaratha Kissoon.

Please visit the collection at www.caribbeanhomophobias.org, forward this message to others, and comment about it on our Facebook Fan Page!

Saltwater Healing - A Myth Memoir

Months have flown by since my last posting on conscious vibration... and during that time, didn't quite get to my leap year dream of writing more on this space. But I have been writing and creating elsewhere...  in other spaces...  and so...  I'm back in the mix and ready to share! 

In March, I was honored and excited to be a part of Transforming Spaces 2012 (Art Tour and Exhibit) in Nassau, The Bahamas, which had a common theme this year of FIBRE. After reading about the theme, I decided to submit my very first attempt at visual art through my literary art work, myth memoir "Saltwater Healing." I spent most of the early spring working on and finishing my piece. And I went home to complete and install it during the first week of March. This was essential since I wanted to use plant materials, sand, straw, and fabric from home to frame and finish my work. I have shared most of these pics on facebook and with friends. But now I am taking some time to share a bit about my vision and process. And to also let my folks know that Saltwater Healing will be turned into a chapbook with Poinciana Paper Press in 2013! Details will soon be announced! And also I also have found a home for Saltwater Healing to be on display for a while. More details soon come!

My vision for this work grew out of all the ways I write and engage with home as a Black mixed-race queer Bahamian woman living abroad. It grew out of troubled women's stories (herstories) too often left out of our "history" books. It grew out of messiness--the stuff we don't often speak about. It grew out of my desire to speak and share hard stories through a more visual medium, using a story telling poetic form and incorporating collage. The pages started with an adult me telling stories and then transformed into a childhood persona re-telling and re-imagining my childhood through the land/seascape and my grandmother's mythic voice. Some pages started with the stories, while others started with photographs and scraps of materials. I went back and forth with inspiration from the materials (seeds, cotton, fabric, plants, straw, photographs, etc) and what stories emerged as I wrote and created each page -- with an interplay between the visual and the text. I used Androsia fabric and straw specifically because of how we use these materials in cultural production and for tourism. And this vision expanded as I worked with the fabric and straw as a reflection of the obvious to tell what is not so obvious -- the hidden from view, the unspoken, the silenced.  

The pieces coming together, working at Popopstudios

The process was an incredible healing journey and the piece transformed each day I was at home in March. I was fortunate to be home during Woman Tongue season -- trees being ripe with pods and the beautiful sounds they make during our Bahamian spring time. This took my project to the healing and mythic space I had envisioned through the stories, and working with the woman tongue seeds and pods captivated me and my poet self. And so the pieces grow from distance and longing in photographs of the first few pages... to a more physical closeness with tactile offerings of the last pages and the entire frame of woman tongue pods and coconut tree branches. I ended the memoir with a kind of opening and circular movement that I hope pulls readers/viewers back into the piece to share in Saltwater Healing.

All together - stories weaved through fibres...

I was thrilled to be included in the co-curated team of artists at The Hub for TS 2012 -- including Angel Aranha, Margot Bethel, Agnieszka Christie, Sonia Farmer, Kachelle Knowles, Gio Swaby, Anna Mascaro, and Shevan Ward. Check out The Hub's photo album on facebook for pics of the whole process, installation, and the opening of the tour! Also, Sonia Farmer has an excellent piece about TS 2012 FIBRE at The Hub on her new blog Poinciana Paper Press!

While I was home for the creating, finishing and installation of my piece, I was able to help for a couple days with preparing The Hub for our show. And while I couldn't physically be there at the opening weekend of Transforming Spaces, I was there in spirit! And really excited to experience it through my friend's stories and photographs. This was a quite a new experience for me -- my treading water into the world of visual art making and production. And I am ready for more! So my artist self is expanding and growing during this Water Dragon Year! 

I plan to continue this work of myth memoir creation through the chapbook, which I plan to include some of my poems and perhaps even more stories. Until then, here are some reflections on my process and the installation.

*~*~*

Saltwater Healing is a literary artwork and myth memoir.

Weaving mythic stories of home and childhood, "Saltwater Healing" uses 

the Bahamian land/seascape to speak of silence and troubled herstories.

Dimensions: 3' x 6' (18 12" x 12" wooden squares)

Materials: paper, wood, photographs, plant materials, cotton, and sand.

I worked on each square individually - with fabric, straw,
plant materials, sand, and cotton interwoven around the collages
- each page with a different stories that weave into each other.

Installing the individual wooden squares...

Almost there!

Working on adding the layers of plant materials...

Check the detail...

Close up shot!

Adding more layers... for the finish and frame:
I framed the entire piece with woman's tongue pods,
coconut branches, sponges, seeds, shells, and other pieces
from the beaches and streets of Nassau.

*~*~*

FIBRE at The Hub!

Completing the installation of my piece,

with an ocean blue wall as the finishing touch... and a bucket of
sea water with rope! Thanks Margot, Kachelle, Sonia, Gio,
Anna, Shavan & the rest of The Hub Artists!!!  

TS 2012 at The Hub - Fierce and Fabulous!

Opening Day of Transforming Spaces!

thank you for being a witness!

with peace, love & conscious vibration...

Angelique